I ghosted a problematic friend. Now I feel terrible, but also relieved | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

I ghosted a problematic friend. Now I feel terrible, but also relieved

A reader recently wrote to me, confessing that they had ghosted a friend who had become increasingly problematic in their life. The reader felt terrible about their decision, but at the same time, they couldn't help but feel relieved that they no longer had to deal with the stress and drama that this friend brought into their life.

This is a common dilemma that many people face. On one hand, ghosting someone can be seen as a cowardly or rude thing to do, especially if the person being ghosted has no idea what they did wrong or why they are being cut out of someone's life. On the other hand, sometimes it is necessary to prioritize one's own well-being and distance oneself from people who are toxic or draining.

In this case, the reader had tried to address the issues with their friend, but nothing seemed to work. The friend continued to be selfish, dismissive, and hurtful, and the reader felt like they were walking on eggshells around them, never knowing when the friend would lash out or become upset. After a while, the reader realized that they had had enough and decided to cut ties with the friend altogether.

Why ghosting might be the best option

While ghosting is not always the most ideal solution, there are times when it may be the best option. Here are a few reasons why:

• Self-preservation: If someone is being abusive, toxic, or draining, it may be necessary to prioritize one's own well-being and distance oneself from that person.
• Lack of resolution: If attempts to address issues or resolve conflicts have been unsuccessful, it may be time to accept that the relationship is not salvageable and move on.
• Emotional safety: If being around someone makes you feel anxious, stressed, or unhappy, it may be better to create some distance or cut ties altogether.

In the end, the decision to ghost someone is a personal one, and it's not always easy. However, if you feel like you've tried everything and the relationship is still causing you more harm than good, it may be time to prioritize your own well-being and move on.